Reflections on My Birthday

Just celebrated another birthday so you know what that means. Yes! Sister #2 is one year closer to 50! Ha! Actually I don't do too much reflection on my birthday. Rather I do a personal analysis: Am I happy where I am. And this year it is a resounding YES. Well most of the day anyway. Things are as I would have them in my perfect world. Oddly the one thing I'm feeling a little veklempt about is that Sister #4 is about to turn 40. That makes me feel older than anything else. How can one have a baby sister that is 40 and still feel young. It is rather rude of her to disturb my psyche in this manner. I do still have a little sister that is 16 so I guess I"m not so old. Right. Now when she turns 40 I'll really be old.

Yes, things are going along here. My weight loss is going pretty good, if my scale is not lying to me. I'm doing well not dieting but being a conscious eater. Ok, I get the kids food cleared from the table as fast as possible and pop it into the garbage. I"m all like: Done ok, I"m throwing it away. Amazingly I've reached a point where I"m not that tempted by many of my normal trigger foods. Passed up cookies yesterday thinking I would have birthday cake and when none was forthcoming when I got home I was actually a little glad. Hey, I'm way ahead for the day because I planned to eat something and now I'm not eating it. No doubt I'll gain this week. Took a healthy snack to the Mom's club party today and only one other mom even tried it. Too bad for them. I did have half of a very tempting cookie and one bite (only one bite! think of it) of a decadent chocolate peanut butter brownie. And I didn't' have to talk myself out of having more. Wow, this could be working. Don't want to jinx myself though. Plus my Carl cursing is way down, since I feel full faster.

One problem I'm still having is trying to eat slow. Today at lunch as usual Ben was popping out of his chair and I was "gently" reminding him we were practicing staying in the chair while eating and all the while Sarina was whining because I wouldn't let her have a sip of my diet Pepsi and Ben was doing his constant hum as he chews (why do children do that?). I could just feel my jaw wanting to chew in time to her whine and his hum. My jaws just wanted to chomp down and chew chew chew as fast as they could. But no I said. Deep breath. Relax.

Got in some exercise today too. Walked Ben to school and then off to the library with Sarina. So feeling pretty good except I still have to dig up the garden bed and plant my bushes that needed to be planted this weekend but it rained. Oh dear. Better get on that. Chow. Oh, I mean ciao.